“Love at First Sight” or Laziness and Fake Standards?

I have a tale as old as time to debunk for you guys. As women trying to navigate the tornado that is the dating pool, we often stick to some tried and true rules of thumb to streamline the process. For example, we have “types.” For me, if a guy resembles Jeremy Allen White, he quickly moves to the top of my mind and my roster. A tall guy with curly brown hair? What else could a girl want? As the efficient and smart women that we are, we naturally create standards or thresholds for men to meet or exceed. It simply speeds up the process. I mean, how else would we find our blue-eyed, 6’5” finance guy?

That way, it makes it a little easier to find the “right” guy. Or does it? Are we steering ourselves so wrong that we forget what's right for us? Do we focus too much on our “requirements” that we miss an opportunity for a true connection? 

I was listening to Kate Hudson speak on Alexandra Cooper’s podcast, “Call Her Daddy,” when something Kate mentioned got me thinking. When Alex asked Kate if she had a type, Kate had a great point. She said, “think how many connections we pass up in life because they don’t perfectly match our ‘type.’” 

I was driving on the CA 5 South when I heard this, and I literally almost stopped in my tracks after hearing this because I was in shock. She was so right. Ever since then, I have been much more open to meeting people who may not perfectly fit my standards right away. 

This can be applied to friendships as well. We should refrain from judgment and instead try to build a connection, rather than expecting one from the beginning. In my experience, love at first sight is fleeting. It can steer you so wrong. I would know. In friendships and relationships, the first impression is not everything. If a connection can stand the test of time, then it is built to last and therefore, probably exceeds all of your exceptions that you might have had upon the first meeting. 

Devoting time to a relationship requires effort. If you step away from your check list of requirments, it can be harder because you don't have a rule book anymore. You cannto rely on your TikTok-curated standards of 6'5", finance, and blue eyes. You will be dating while in-the-moment. You will meet increible people who interest you and challenge you. This new approach has already amazed me with all of the unique people I have met, some friends, and some more-than-friends. I cannot wait to see how many people I meet because I am simply open to meeting them. But, don't worry, I'll keep you guys posted, of course.