Cities Change. The Lord Doesn’t

I'm back in New York, just for the day. First on my to-do list was, of course, the Rockefeller Center tree. It was just as majestic as I remembered.

Funnily enough, the last time I caught a glimpse of the beautiful Rock tree was two Christmases ago… with my ex. And I genuinely thought I was going to marry that man.

It truly is wild how time flies and times change. When I saw the tree two years ago, I was overcome with emotion. It brought me to tears — which does not happen to me often. But in that moment, I knew I belonged here. Whether I live here or not, New York City flows through my veins.

Now, two years later, it is surreal to think that I have broken up with that guy (thank goodness), graduated, moved to NYC, interned on Capitol Hill, and will be starting the new year working full-time for a congressman in Washington, D.C.

I have learned more than I ever thought possible in this year post-grad. I feel blessed to know what it’s like to have dreams come true, to have dreams not work out, and to have to pivot and trust in the Lord. That has been the underlying theme of this year for me.

The truth is, I have no idea where I would be happiest living or working — just as I don’t know who my person is yet, or even who I am, for that matter. And we know that’s true, because I don’t have the best track record of knowing how to pick them. But how could I?

Only the Lord knows my life from start to finish. He knows what the bow is that will eventually tie all of the loose ends of my life together. He knows the big picture. When I wonder if D.C. is for me, I realize it’s not my job to know. I am not the master, the conductor, or the planner of my life, as much as I would like to think I am.

The Lord has a plan for me, and it may include New York, or D.C., or Dallas, or Austin — or anywhere else that draws me closer to Him. That’s His plan. He wants us to know Him, to turn to Him when we don’t know where else to turn. In my case, I’m unsure if I should turn my car, my subway line, my Metro line, or my feet north, south, east, or west.

The best part is that wherever I am living, I know I truly belong in Heaven with Him. So until then, I’m just going to have faith. Right now, I feel called to have faith in D.C. So wave at me on the National Mall. I’ll be there, until His plan changes.